Hallelujah (PruAus)
by ObeytheCupcake
Summary: Love conquers all; even the darkest of days. Rodrich learns that on these days, the key is to look back and be glad they happened even if he knows that these are the last.


_"What are you doing?" He asked me, but I didn't answer him at the moment because I was pretending that I couldn't hear him. My fingers were playing with the cords of the piano, and normally, I could hear, but I didn't want his speech to interrupt its song; this song was special to me. I felt him come up behind me, he not touching me, but I could just feel him; I still refused to fully acknowledge him. He then proceeded to sit on the other side of the bench; he touching my leg with his ghostly colored hand. I jumped, acting as if I was startled, but still continued to play with the domino colored keys. "What are you playing?" He asked once more, his red eyes looking at the cords, watching as my finger's danced along them._

_"A song that makes me think of you." I fibbed; it reminded me of us. He smirked that same idiotic, curve of the lip; that stupid gleam entering his eyes only when he saw me._

_"And what's the song that makes you think of me?" He asked once more, he leaning on me slightly but I pushed him off; I was sick, and I didn't want him to get sick either. I always get colds in the winter months; and whenever I do, I always play the piano to pass the time._

_"Hallelujah." I informed making him puzzled. He wanted to ask another question; I just knew it, but, instead, he went with it. Which I greatly appreciated because I wasn't ready to tell him why._

_"Sickly." I whispered, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't hear me. But, much to my dismay, he had heard me with his selectively hawk-like ears. He smirked in the same foolish way and he fluttered his red pearl eyes open to look over at me; that gleam weakly paved its way through the cloudy darkness that cursed his eyes; that meant everything to me. But, why smile, I might ask? There's no use to it anymore so why even bother?_

_"I'll be fine." He tried to re-insure, but I knew he wasn't. "Don't be too upset over me; I'll be ok." He tried again, but he failed miserably for trying to console me; to persuade me into believing him. I didn't roll my eyes this time but instead, I looked down at him, I trying to smile, but I couldn't. So, instead, I placed my hand in his white hair, pushing the short locks out of their place. He grabbed my wrist, just holding it as I went on with this, trying to comfort him to the best of my abilities, but obviously, there wasn't a worry on his mind._

_There was on mine, and all I could think back to was the song; Hallelujah and how badly I wished to tap my finger's on the chords; that song to flow from the tips._

_"I've always heard you playing it." He stated, I nodded my head, continuing the constant taps as I hummed the lyrics. "What are the lyrics?" He asked another question. I smiled slightly, stopping._

_"Don't make me sing them." I said, making him chuckle. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, resting his head on my shoulder. I sighed, feeling relaxed in his touches._

_"Oh, come on," He insisted, nudging me slightly. "Just say them; if it reminds you of me, I'd at least like to know what they're saying." He went on. I grunted, understanding what he was saying. I decided to gave in and just say them with a tad bit of the tune to coat my words. And then, I said 'Ok," and started the song over. Once the chords crossed to the section where the words were appreciated, I began._

_"**Well I heard there was a secret chord, that David played, and it pleased the Lord. But you don't really care for music, do you?"** I sang slightly, looking over at him as he rested his chin on my shoulder, looking up at me with the most pleasant eyes. I looked back at him, I starting to smile. I looked back at the cords. **"Well it goes like this; the minor fall, and the major lift."** I sang a bit louder this time, but then, I toned it down, realizing the part that I was now entering. **"The baffled king composing hallelujah.**" And then, I said with my voice receding in volume, hallelujah four times. He still looked up at me, his eyes glued to me as I kept playing the song that I had dedicated to us._

_Oh, if only he knew why._

"But you look terrible." I finally said, making him laugh. Why, though? That made no sense to me at the moment, and it baffles me to the core as to why he would even find humor in my black and white accusation. His hand tightened around my wrist as he pulled my hand away from him. He let his hand dangle off the bed, intertwined with mine. He then repositioned his head; facing it upward as he closed his watched the insides of his eyelids and licked his dry, pale lips that looked to be dying for a sip of water. But, each time I'd offer him just a sip, he'd turn me down; saying he doesn't need any; his lips are just chapped. But secretly, I didn't believe him.

But what I didn't understand was his optimistic vibe on the whole situation; it drove me insane, actually. Why was he so oblivious to the fact that he was dying? Why was he blind to the fact that his skin was even more anemic? Why was he so uneducated to the fact that the light in his eyes were fading? But yet, he still believes that he'll pull through; he'll see another day, another moment in his life?

Why even smile?

"Why do you doubt it?" He asked me, he still keeping his head up toward the ceiling, his eyes shut as he still watched the back of his eyelids. I didn't know how to answer, and I didn't. I felt my violet eyes starting to want to spill over, but I knew that I had to somewhat keep my composer. Because who knows; maybe he will make it, and I turned this into a pessimistic blackness that I always turn everything in.

One thing I hate about myself is that; I tend to look on the darker sides of things, like I did with the song that I thought reminded me of us. Why would I ruin something like this for me by thinking that way?

I always ruin everything; I always do.

"Because," I started, sniffling, I trying to hold back my tears. "I've never seen you this bad." I informed. I felt his hand tighten its grip around mine, as if trying to grab my attention but I ignored his try at it for the moment as I absorbed myself in the darkness I had exposed myself to. I knew it was the right place, too

_**"She tied you to the kitchen chair,"** I sang, starting to tear up slightly, remembering how it all came to be. **"She broke your thrown and she cut your hair."** I went on, feeling my volume increase again, I still feeling his eyes stuck to me. "And from your lips, she drew the hallelujah." I sang, then, repeated the hallelujah's four times in a quieter tone of voice._

_And as I sang , all I could think of was 'What is running through his mind?'. This song probably doesn't make sense to him; I bet he's just fascinated that I told him I dedicated a song to him. But, in fact, all the songs that would leave this piano were for him since that day where he finally drew the hallelujah past my lips. And even though that day was dark; it was defeating I still found that wonderful, uplifting quote find a way into my vocabulary._

_**"But remember when I moved in you?"** I sang, loudly. **"And the holy dove was moving to. And every breath we drew was hallelujah.**" I continued, I feeling my eyes starting to water, but this time they spilled slightly. I felt him take his hand and wipe the tear away. I looked back down at him; smiling as I continued to play the cords, almost chanting the words 'Hallelujah' on my breath._

_**"It was a cold and broken Hallelujah."** I almost whispered._

_The almost frightening part about that lyric is that it was all too true; it was indeed a cold, broken, but yet, well worth hallelujah._

"Well, I haven't either." He replied, holding my hand tightly once more. He then brought it to his chapped lips, kissing my soft, pale skinned hand, he then looked over at me; that gleam starting to fade. "But why don't we trust that I'll be ok?" He asked, but I knew he was being stupid like he usual is; and that made me a little giddy, but I knew it disappear in a short matter of time.

"Trust what?" I said back, letting go of his hand, falling back on the chair that was behind me, hiding my head in my hands as I let a cry finally part my lips. "Trust that you'll be fine? Gilbert," I said, finally making him grow up and face it. "You're dying. As much as I want to sugarcoat it, as badly as I want to make it all change, just face it!" I said, standing up as I felt something course through me; something that felt similar to that one day. But, I felt myself take on too much so I sat back down. "D-Don't lie to me." I stuttered, feeling myself starting to shake slightly. "Don't lie to y-y-yourself." I muttered, hiding my head back in my hands. I saw from the corner of my eye he try to swing his arm out, trying to grab some part of me; what it was, I don't know; but I guessed my hand; so I gave him my hand which he interlocked our fingers once more.

The touch was cold, and it felt broken. But that's how we built it anyway; an almost dilapidated structure that I'm surprised still held up till this day. But, I thank everything that it still holds up, even though it was on its last leg, I still found myself wanting to whisper the same old words that I always wanted to say when I see him; hallelujah.

_**"I did my best,"** I said in tune, quietly; my throat starting to become sore.** "it wasn't much. I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch. I've told the truth; I didn't come to fool you."** I continued, feeling myself wanting to bawl to the song; there was a reason as to why I never sang or really wanted to look at the words. "And even though it all went wrong, I'll still stand by the Lord of Song, and the only word on my tongue will be hallelujah." I sang, feeling more tears pouring from my eyes. And then, I felt him starting to wipe them away again; I feeling his finger tips land on my cheeks as he pushed them away. And I finished the song, taking my hands off the chords as I rested my elbows on the keys; the sound of keys smashing echoed through the room, making him jump. I began to cry willingly now; unable to hold my cries back anymore._

_I felt him pull me close again, I being embraced by my own little devil. He tried to kiss my cheek, but I blocked it off to his access; which was slightly intended. I felt his eyes on me, but then I felt his head back on my shoulder, and then, a kiss on my hair._

_"Why are you crying?" He asked, pulling me tighter. "I liked it, a lot, Rodrich." He trying to console me._

_If only he would understand_

"Well, I'm sorry." He said with a weak tone of voice. I looked back up at him, his red eyes seeming nearly black as he looked at me. The only light that radiated off of him was that smile he had plastered on his lips, and I think I finally understood why. "I guess I need to take in the facts that..." He trailed off, looking up at the ceiling, this time, not shutting his eyes. "I-I-I'm going to die." He seemed to whisper. He looked back over at me, smiling. And then, he parted his lips but shut them once more, almost as if he wanted to say something. He turned his head back around. I got out of the chair and onto my knees, holding his hand tightly as I rested my head on his chest, hearing his weak heart beat pounding against it's change.

I knew he wanted to say something, but what it was made me wonder.

_I admit; I lie often, but only to protect myself or someone else from something. Gilbert was the biggest victim most of the time, and I hate saying that since I loved him with all my heart, but yet, I lie to him so often? I took it as 'What you don't know can't hurt you.' and I knew that most of the truths that were nestled up within me were the hardest truths, and I would never tell him these hard truths. I knew too much, and that's what hurts me._

_"Hey," He said, taking his fingers, placing them on my chin. He looked at me; those lights lit up in his eyes made me melt every time. "Don't cry." He murmured, pulling me close into a hug, he placing his hands behind my back, rubbing them in soothing circles. "You mean too much to me for me to see you cry." He said, pulling away._

_And with that, my tears stopped flowing. Of course, that song and those thoughts were still lingering on my mind, but I learned a while ago to silence them. Even though I still wasn't exactly a master at it parse, I still knew how to._

_He started to lean in, but I put my hand up, it covering his lips. He fluttered his eyes open, they looking at me with a confused look. I chuckled a bit, taking them off as I turned back around, he still having his hands around my waist, he still trying to pull me close and land kisses on my lips._

_"Don't kiss me," I started, looking down at the piano keys. "I'm sick." I reminded, but he laughed at me._

_"So?" He said, pushing my head back around, resting his forehead on mine. " You're just as sweet to me." He went on._

I grinned at him; my teeth showing. Oh, how often that happened when I was with him. It was astonishing how happy one single person could make me. And just to think I used to despise him; he breaking my thrown and humiliating me. But, now, it didn't matter; because all the humiliation, all the sleepless nights, all the worries and so forth were forgotten and forgiven, all due to the happiness; the happiness that replaced this bad blood, it being replaced with gold and silver.

_And then, he gently placed his lips on mine. Our lips locked perfectly, I fit perfectly in his lap; together, we were just perfection and I felt it. I knew that no matter how wrong this may seem, it'll always feel right to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. And then, when we had our fill, he pulled away, putting his forehead back on mine._

_"I love you." He said. I felt myself starting to blush as I felt his hand rub my sides lovingly. "I really do." He added on, peaking my lips once more._

_"I love you, too." I replied, and then, there was another kiss. And during that kiss, the same thing went across my mind; hallelujah._

I looked back up at him, he still looking at me, his lips still parted. What did he want to say? The curiosity was nipping at me insanely, and I was silently begging for him to tell me what ran across his mind. I rested my head back where it was, but looking up at him, seeing if I could catch him in his words.

"Rodrich." He interrupted the stillness in the air. I believe he caught on to what I was trying to play. "Hallelujah." He said, simply.

"W-What do you mean?" I stammered. I was actually surprised that he remembered something that was so old; so outdated and just... I don't even know. Normally, that would be on my mind. And really, it is, but for him to say such a thing is enough to make me ponder for days.

"You know exactly what I mean." He smirked, the light shining brighter this time. "Hallelujah." He said once more, that light starting to die out. I quickly sat up, taking his pale, weak face into my palm as I leaned in, but he pushed my lips away, turning his head. "Don't kiss me," He started, his voice cracking out of fear or embarrassment or even hesitance. "I-I'm dying." He said, looking back at me with watery eyes. But, I looked back at him, my eyes like his, and then, I felt a smile peak at my lips, it breaking through finally.

"So?" I started, I resting my forehead on his. "Y-y-you're just as sw-sweet to m-me..." I began to cry once more, and this time, he let me kiss him. And as I felt the kiss touch upon my plush, delicate lips, I felt his tears on my cheeks, and then, I pulled away, wiping away his glass like tears from his face. And with his teary eyed, red orbs looking at me with fear, regret , and personally, I saw a bit of happiness along his eyes. "I love you, Gilbert. With all my heart." I whispered, holding him close.

"I love you, too." He said back in the same hushed tone as I. "R-Rodrich." He called out, making me look back at him. He held me close, pulling me into a hug. And then, I felt more tears wet the top of my hair. "I'm sorry." He whimpered. I pulled away, looking down at him. I smiled a weak smile, peaking his hard lips once more.

**"There's a blaze of light in every word,"** I sang, holding him in my arms.** "It doesn't matter which you heard; the holy or the broken hallelujah."** I continued to sing, I feeling him sobbing in my arms. I pulled away slightly, then, held him tightly once more.

**"Hallelujah."** I sang once more, seeing his eyes starting to shut gently. I felt my tears wanting to overflow, and I let them. **"Hallelujah."** I went on, pulling him unbearably tight, but at his point, I knew it didn't matter. I let out a weep, as I looked down at him, my eyes now, finally glued to him for once. "Hallelujah." I said, almost as if I was rehearsing.

And then, with all the energy I had left in me, I kissed his forehead, resting my head on top of his as I let a long, regretful cry escape from my lips.

"Gilbert," I belted, holding him in my death grip. "You will always be mine."


End file.
